With a single rocket launch, the population of the cosmos has doubled overnight… or so says one misinformed reporter. While this eager space enthusiast may be, for lack of a better word, ignorant in his laughable assumption that only humans will be counted in the next great space census (expect a knock on your door in 13,254), he does bring up an interesting debate: should the people of earth be clamoring to get off the planet and move into a cozy studio airlock chamber somewhere in the neighborhood of Mars?
According to the dire predictions of one well-informed politician, yes.
Despite my own enthusiasm to see mankind join the rest of the galaxy-hopping species while it can still be considered “fashionably late,” rushing the process can only lead to disaster. No regrettable tale illustrates this point better than that of the mini-golf loving Namtorians.
Namtorians had occupied their planet for over 5,680,000 years. So, as you could imagine, they had exhausted nearly every putt-putt layout imaginable, and were quite bored with their surroundings. One day, after hitting himself in the face with a rubber band, the Namtorian emperor decided that the entire population of the planet should be launched into space in a single vessel, where they could presumably dream up ways of getting multicolored balls to pass beneath pint-sized windmills in zero gravity. Unfortunately, their primary means of propulsion resembled something like this, and the Namtorians never made it to hole one.
In short, people of Earth, don’t jump the gun on this one. You’ll find yourselves orbiting another universe’s sun soon enough. In the meantime, keep an eye on those icecaps.
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Hi Space Pope. I read some of your posts. Your writing style reminds me of myself thirty years ago when I wrote for the Voice of Shreveport.
ReplyDeleteI Googled "Space Pope" hoping to find a Space Pope blog that I read a few years ago. I think it was yours. It had a great forties style picture of a lady on a rocket. I liked that picture. I figured you painted it yourself.
After reading that blog I became interested in the Eric Von Danniken books and started watching UFO Hunters. You changed my attitude about it all. Before reading that blog I just had a casual idea that they were all being flown by the Air Force, but Nard Pope helped me see the possibilities that there might be real contact between planets - and ours. It also helped me learn a new word, nard. Good for Bloggers!
Your posts show an interesting advancement over those. You take on a character and express opinons on global issues, and in a humorous way. Also you grumble well. I am a believer in grumbling. Grumbling in a pleasant way, as you do, gives impetus to the equal but opposite reaction of gratitude.
You write like a Baha'i in hiding. Is it true they wear special undergarments to their Feasts? They do that in Utah. In Boston? Mary Baker Eddy would be throwing flying saucers at them.
Well it has been pleasant reflecting on your posts. I am going outdoors for a cigarette. If I make enough noise the local skunks will push on to someone else's patio. We have had a very cordial relationship so far and God willing it stays that way.
God bless.
Me, a.k.a. MrDonut
http://shoghieffendiswill.blogspot.com/